Writing Adventures Day 5: How to Focus on Writing Goals When You’re a Nervous Wreck?!

It's hard to write and the emotions are all tangled up is a nervous wreck heading through false dawn. Somehow, writers manage to do it. Here's how this mama writer went from self-deprecation to self-care writing roadrunner

Writing stories defines a very big part of who I am.

Every decision I made in my life went through the « how will it affect the writing routine » filter.

Yep, even when I met my future hubby-to-be, I thought about how seriously dating that wonderful man would affect my writing time.

I wouldn’t use the words « crazy writer lady » per say but, like I said: writing stories define a very big part of who I am.

When change comes knocking, I react rather emotionally.

Deciding to go back to working outside the house was the best decision for my family’s well-being, as well as my own.

I got a job interview today. And I want this job. And I know I can do it.

I should be more confident about this…. However…

!! I’m a nervous wreck !!

What’s a writer with a daily word count goal to do?!

How to Focus on Writing When You’re a Nervous Wreck!

As we say in my francophone bubble « J’ai appris sur le tas« .

Which means I learned as I went.

Hopefully, it will be a useful trick for the future early morning writing session.

Although, it did help that I woke up earlier than usual.

(And since now I’m getting up for the 5amwritersclub almost every weekday, it means I was up at an uncanny time of the night. )

At first, I went into my dawn writing routine: boiling the water for the tea, lighting a candle, finding the fuzzy warm blanket kiddo always manages to hide somewhere.

After a mere fifteen minutes of writing, my focus went bye-bye writing, hello job interview prep.

Two minutes later, half of my mind went back into the writing project while the other half was revising eventual interview questions and politics and as much as I can learn about the company I wish to work for.

In short, I was writing shiteridoureloutirelouquanquantirela.

And I started to get really mad at myself.

Self-Care VS Interview VS Writing Life

Here’s a brief insight into my 5:30am train of thoughts:

What !?

I’m not even hired yet and I can’t detached my mind from the day job!?!

What happened to all that pretty peace of mind

How on this good wonderful spectacular Earth would I be able to write if, at day minus Zero, I could not produce one decent sentence?!?

*yelling inside/virtually out*

By all means, nothing there to A: help my self-esteem and B: get back to writing in order to meet the daily writing goals.

I have to go back to my roots: get organized.

To that end, I took up some of my beloved morning writing time to go outside in the dark, breathe in, breathe out, and try to find some stars through the heavy clouds.

I saw only one bright one, full West. Beautiful really. So far from our everyday and everything.

Then, on with scheduling the writing time VS the prep for the interview time, and move on.

Sooo, I did the interview go?

I didn’t make my daily writing goal today, but the interview went very well.

In fact, I got the job!

I still can hardly believe it. My new boss said the stars were aligned.

I had a thought for the morning star half hiding behind the heavy cloud I saw that very morning.

Yeah, the stars were aligned.

I’ll sleep on that.

Take care of yourself, dear fellow writers. May all your written words bring you joy!

Auteur : Marie Alice

Writing away and reading books. Joy! Écrire à tout vent et lire des romans. Joie!

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